Here I was, a Jewish Latvian who happens to speak Russian, climbing up Mount Meron with Latin Americans in Israel during a war on a random summer Saturday and thinking, “What the heck am I even doing here?”. Great question, me, great question…
Why do I speak Russian even though I am Latvian? Why do I call myself Jewish if I have never had a bar mitzvah? Why in Israel do I have myself surrounded with Latinos? And why am I even hiking up the mountain? Okay, the last one is easy - the view was simply incredible!
Well, here’s my perhaps way too long answer for all these questions.
What is a culture?
I think the best and shortest answer is
Culture - a group of people who believe in a certain way how to live life.
In reality, culture is a complex idea that contains many parts, but I believe that all cultures can be simplified down to the following 4 aspects:
- Language - the language and ways in which the culture communicates, e.g., English, Arabic, French.
- History - where is this group coming from and the events that have happened to their people (think of ethnicity), e.g., Jews, Cherokee, Persians.
- Religion - the faith and rituals they have, e.g., Christians, Buddhists, Muslims.
- Nation - country they are a part of, basically a passport and what it entitles (generally nationalism is a fairly new concept that many cultural groups have not defined for themselves yet), e.g., Canada, North Korea, the Vatican.
Individually, these aspects never encompass a whole culture; they’re always parts of it, all in various degrees of importance. In some cultures, one pillar is prominent and in others, it is almost non-existent. Take, for example, religion - in most of the Arab world, Islam is woven into every fabric of society, while in most Western countries religion is something personal and does not influence country or society that much.
Of course, this is a simplified take on cultures, but this framework helps me to understand people who come from multiple backgrounds (like me). In reality, cultures are complicated, intertwined, and can rarely be cut into black and white. As Shrek once said, “Onions have layers”, and so do cultures.
Some background about me
My dad is ethnically Latvian, but my mom is Russian-Jewish. What’s more interesting, my family lived in the territory of modern-day Latvia for at least the last 5 generations, so they have seen and remembered both Nazi and Soviet Union occupations. Both of my parents grew up in Soviet Latvia and saw the eventual crumbling of it.
As the Communist Party wanted everyone to be the same, those who were a tad different were discriminated against, so there was a social pressure to “fit in”(check this Russian article on how everyone was forced to be the same). On top of that, add conspiracies such as the ones written in “The Protocols of the Elders of Zion” (this book is full of crap and yet it manages to influence the radicals 120 years later after it was published), due to which many Jews could not apply to universities and were made a laughing stock. Just like many Soviets, my parents too were forced to forget their cultures, adopt Russian-speaking atheist communist ideology, and the country was closed to everything that was “foreign and Western”. Oh, and like the majority of people, my parents were raised in families that had just enough money to survive but not much more than that.
The present me
I have two native languages - Latvian and Russian (kudos to my parents for keeping both of them in our family). I was born in a free, democratic, and European Latvia. I can travel to almost any country without needing a visa, can apply for any university, and have not had any personal discrimination, as I grew up in a rather tolerant society. I grew up in a pretty financially stable family that kept improving, and had the means to move for better opportunities and life conditions. Unlike the times of my parents, the Russian language is not enough for the modern world (or my ambitions), so I am also fluent in English to connect with the rest of the world. As a teenager, I traveled the planet as a participant in various Jewish organizations, and I had the opportunity to move to another country not because I was seeking refuge but out of my own free will, which is a great privilege.
My reality
This arrangement creates a whole set of issues that I am still dealing with:
- My parents’ families had had their fair share of clashes because of different cultures and languages, and my siblings and I had to be in the middle of this family drama.
- After living in 14 different buildings and many cities, home stops being a place but rather becomes a feeling.
- I always had friends from different cultures, and I could never keep up with their pop culture, nor did I know the latest trends and was falling behind in, e.g., the latest music or memes.
- Having this diverse cultural background, I do not belong to a single, specific culture. I have always considered myself a mix. For instance, it has constantly been a struggle to define in official documents a single ethnicity, native language, or the city in which I live.
- Not many people share this struggle, and it feels like you are alone in it.
But to my surprise, I am not alone in this struggle. A whole group of people like this exists!
Third culture kid (TCK)
There is this concept of a third culture kid (TCK). In plain words, it is someone who was raised in a culture different from their parents and lived in a different environment during their childhood. The most notorious example is the children of diplomats, military, NGO workers, missionaries, etc.
I am not so sure that I fit the description, and honestly don’t care about adding another label onto myself. The point is that I feel very much related to TCKs.
While growing up in Latvia, I was surrounded by Latvian-Russian culture, but my peers would not understand why I celebrate New Year’s in September/October (Rosh HaShana - Jewish New Year). Living in Israel, I experience a lot of Jewish and Russian cultures, but then people side-eye me when I tell them that running around in the field naked and jumping over fire on the summer solstice is a fun activity (Jāņi - Latvian summer solstice).
This is not only about the celebrations. It’s so much more than that. It’s about knowing multiple languages but forgetting a word in all of them, struggling to mix friend groups because of cultural barriers, or not fitting the norm because apparently it is illegal to marinade chicken in mayo and eat it with chimichurri sauce.
Yes, my Brazilian and Argentinian friends, it tastes great.
As you can see, I often miss some aspects of my cultures, no matter where I am. It’s never fully me. Sometimes I think that life would be easier if I were to take the full-on ultra-Orthodox route and live in a yeshiva, maybe move to some Latvian vienssēta and look after the cows, or maybe just move to a cave somewhere in Nepal. Extreme? Yes, but it would make my life so much simpler. I would not have to decide for myself how to live my own life, and all answers would be given to me on a silver platter. On top of that, my identity would be rock solid. Thankfully, neither of these options sounds truly tempting to me, and this perpetual ambiguity is exactly where I feel right.
This mix of cultures taught me how to see the world from different points of view and understand that there might be more than one truth. Despite feeling like I don’t belong anywhere, I can melt into various groups, which comforts me and makes me feel like I belong everywhere. And, my personal favorite, this TCK life didn’t allow me to be a picky eater, so I truly enjoy and stay curious about foods from every corner of the world.
As difficult as it is to define my own culture and have it around me at all times, I would not change it for anything. I thrive in this mix of people, cultures, languages, and perhaps even chaos.
That’s who I am. A mix. An in-betweener.